


Shameless

by Smapdi



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-13
Updated: 2015-01-13
Packaged: 2018-03-07 09:34:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3169982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smapdi/pseuds/Smapdi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jake is having a rough day, and things just get rougher when the gang goes out for drinks. Originally posted on ff.net 3/4/2014. Set mid season 1, sort of a follow up to my first story "Sleepless."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shameless

**Author's Note:**

> This is old and kinda cheesy :D but I'm moving all my stories over here to AO3 so why not bring my little foray into B99 along!

It was just supposed to be an air kiss. A joke. Ha ha, very funny Jake.

Oops.

It had been an exhausting, frustrating day for Detective Jake Peralta. In the movies, chase scenes are exciting, dynamic adventures, where the criminal is captured after a daring, dangerous foot race. Climbing fences, for example, or leaping rooftops - it's dazzling and flashy and the good guy always wins.

It wasn't quite that way for Jake today. In fact, it wasn't that way three times.

The first chase, well, it was understandable that the guy outran Jake. He was an ex-track star who had gotten involved first in steroid trade, then in other unsavory practices, and he had caught Jake off guard. Jake and his partner Amy had just been knocking on doors of his previous contacts when the guy had busted out a side window and taken off. Jake chased him for two blocks and was pathetically winded by the time Amy caught up in the squad car to pick him up.

"I. Almost. Had. Him." Jake panted. Amy rolled her eyes.

So there was the paperwork for that to finish, and they were nearly done when they got an anonymous tip about a pair of robbery suspects. That one went down much better... for Amy. She had her suspect down and handcuffed while Jake attempted do so the same. However, the reason the suspects had been so easy to spot was that while one was a slim young man, the other was decidedly not - he was teetering on the edge of 400 pounds. He had waited till Jake tried to cuff him to try his escape, as the cuffs couldn't be closed without extenders, and once again, Jake was caught off guard. He was also nearly knocked unconscious when the suspect plowed him over with a football tackle.

"Go after him, Santiago!" Jake yelled weakly.

"Can you hang on to him?" Amy asked, gesturing to her cuffed suspect.

"Yeah, no problem, just let me sit down."

"You are sitting, Jake. Let's not lose them both."

So, two near misses on arrests for Jake, one quick and easy arrest for Amy, and that was just depressing. After another round of paperwork, and a thoroughly humiliating account of the incident by Amy to the entire squad, Jake was done.

"Alright, alright. Today is clearly not my day. Every once in a while, I'm required to prove that I am an actual human, not a crime fighting robot, with a spectacular failure."

"Two spectacular failures!" Amy interjected.

"Thank you, Santiago." He hissed. "So now if you all could kindly get off my nuts I would appreciate it."

"I wasn't aware I was on your nuts, Peralta." A booming voice came from the doorway, where Captain Holt stood, arms crossed. "Good job, Santiago."

Amy blushed and smiled at the Captain. "Thank you, sir. Just doing my job."

"You're doing it well." He replied with the smallest curve of his lips indicating a smile. "And Peralta. I'm so glad you've established that you aren't a robot, but let's get back on track."

Jake sat down with a heavy sigh. "Great. Great!"

"I'm having a great day." Amy smirked, her cheeks still pink. Jake tried to glare at her, but found it hard to be mad when she was so adorable, and he found himself staring instead. Amy peeked up over her glasses and caught his eye, so he covered himself by making a face.

"Real mature. And I was starting to feel bad for you, Peralta. I was going to treat you to some disgusting bar food." It was a regular thing for the squad to hit a dive bar after work, especially on a Friday night.

"Disgusting bar food is my middle name!" Jake smacked his hands loudly on the table. "C'mon Santiago, pity me! I'm pathetic!"

"That is impossible to argue, so fine. Greasy appetizers are on me." She looked back down at her paperwork, lips twitching as she suppressed a smile.

The third, and by far the worst, humiliation of the day came when they weren't even on duty. Jake and Charles had headed out ahead of the rest of the group in order to get a table before the joint filled up, and because he was a gentleman, he had bought three roses from a street vendor, one for each of the ladies. He was standing outside looking all gentlemanly with a big grin and the flowers in his hands as the girls crossed the street. Right as they hit the curb, right as the word "Ladies..." came rolling smoothly off his tongue, a punk kid on a skateboard whizzed by and ripped the flowers right out of Jake's hands with a shriek. What followed seemed to happen in slow motion - Jake and Amy had matching looks of shock, Gina burst out in laughter, and Rosa growled and took off after the kid. They stared down the street, Gina urging Jake to run after her, but they lost sight of the chase when they turned the corner.

"My last six dollars." Jake said glumly. "And I had to borrow that from Charles."

Rosa reappeared in a moment, the remains of the flowers in her fist. She slammed them into Jake's chest. "Sorry, dude." She said and headed inside with Gina.

Jake held up the broken, limp flowers, gesturing to Amy with them. "For some reason, the other girls didn't want these beauties."

Amy smiled at him and patted him on the shoulder. "It was a nice thought, Peralta."

They walked into the bar, and again Jake got to listen to his coworkers jeer and tease him. He took it as well as he could, considering he gave out the same whenever he got the chance. It did start to wear on him a little, though, and when he saw a seat open at the bar, he slipped away from the group.

Jake hadn't been alone for long when the stool next to him was vacated and a quiet voice asked "Is this seat taken?"

Amy hopped up and signaled to the bartender. "I owe you some grub." Jake grabbed the stained paper menu from her hands and squinted at it in the dim light.

"Hmmm, what should I choose? The filet mignon or the prime rib with lobster tail? Gar-con, what do you recommend?"

Amy snickered. "I hear the "chicken fingers and fries" are pretty mediocre." She said in a fake French accent.

"Oui,oui, madame." Jake took a swig from his beer and grinned at her. "So, did they get bored of mocking me yet?"

"Are you kidding? They will never get bored of that!" She smiled, sipping her drink. Jake found himself staring again, and this time, she pretty openly stared back. It made him a little nervous, in a good way. She reached up and pulled her hair loose, shaking it around her shoulders, and gave him a tiny smile.

When the food arrived, Jake welcomed the opportunity to focus on something else. He crammed fries into his mouth by the fistful, grinning goofily at Amy. "Thanks for buying me dinner, Santiago!" He said with his mouth full.

"Calm down, Peralta. Those are French fries, not runaway suspects."

Jake made a sad face. "Et tu, Santiago?" He shoved more fries in his mouth,barely chewing and swallowing before grabbing more.

"Didn't anyone ever teach you how to eat?" She reached over and gently grabbed his jaw. "Up and down, up and down." She opened and closed his mouth. Jake just looked at her with wide, surprised eyes. Amy smiled and released his cheeks and lightly ran her hand down his throat, keeping steady eye contact, stopping with her palm on his chest. "And, swallow."

I think she's flirting with me. Santiago. Flirting. With me.

Jake swallowed hard. He felt the familiar pressure of blood redirecting itself southward and had to break away from her gaze. He took a quick swig of his beer, finishing it off, and beckoned for the bartender to bring him another. "Put it on his tab." He said, pointing at Charles, before turning back to Amy, who was still sweetly smiling at him.

"Okay, let's see what you learned." She plucked a French fry from the plate and moved it slowly toward Jake's mouth, which was conveniently gaping a bit. When it reached him, he leaned forward to take it from her hand, his lips just brushing against her finger. He thought she might have shuddered, but he was far too concerned about what was happening below his belt.

Amy turned back to take another tiny sip. She had been nursing the drink all night, while. Jake was on his third beer, and he was starting to think maybe he was hallucinating the whole thing, especially when she picked up a chicken nugget and gave him a side glance.

"Okay, I'm not sure you're ready for this, but I think we can try to progress to the nugget." She dipped the chicken in a little ranch dressing and held it up, but just as Jake started to move toward her, she brought the nugget to her own mouth and bit in. She chewed and swallowed, darting her tongue out to lick a dribble of sauce from her thumb. Jake was captivated and more than a little aroused.

"See how that works? Now how hard is that?" She accented the last sentence with a pat on his knee, her hand lingering just a tiny bit too long.

Very hard. Very, very hard.

Jake grabbed a nugget while turning his barstool so his awkward condition was less noticeable. He managed to eat it without choking, receiving a little golf clap from Amy.

"Santiago. You've had just that one drink tonight? No shots? No tabs of E?" He asked her, mystified by her strange behavior.

"Of course not!" She responded indignantly. "Why would you ask me that!?"

"Just making sure." He finished off the nuggets and his beer quickly.

"I was just trying to be nice to you, Peralta, since you had such a poopy day." Her face looked disappointed, and Jake felt guilty. Maybe he misread her and she was just being friendly.

"Sorry, I didn't mean... Thanks."

"It's nothing." She hopped down from the barstool and sipped the last of her drink. "I'm gonna head out. Night, Peralta."

"Hang on, I'll take you home. These streets aren't safe for a lady alone."

"Oh, I feel so safe with you, knowing you'll chase off any possible attacker. You won't catch them, but at least you'll chase them off." Amy smiled innocently at him.

"Ouch." Jake grabbed his midsection. "Got me right in the gut."

They headed to Amy's apartment, Jake keeping up a light, casual banter with her, but he couldn't shake the feeling that something had shifted between them. Amy wasn't acting coy, exactly, but the way she was looking at him had him intrigued.

When they arrived at her place, Jake walked her to the door, and Amy seemed a little hesitant. She turned to him and took a deep breath, and he thought for a moment that she was going to invite him in, but she just blinked and smiled brightly at him.

"Well, thanks for seeing me home. Have a great weekend, Peralta." She patted his arm awkwardly.

So Jake being Jake, he had to bring the funny, and he mock pouted. "Aw, don't I get a goodnight kiss, Santiago?" He leaned in to give her that oh so clever air kiss. Perhaps his aim was just a bit off, or perhaps he just really wanted to kiss her, but his lips didn't land in the air. They landed on Amy's.

Now, there were two possible outcomes of this inadvertent lip lock. The logical thing would be to pull away, apologize awkwardly, and hope for a swift and painless death. The illogical, irresponsible, and highly inappropriate choice would be to press those lips harder against the recipient, while moving them gently, before placing his hands on their hips and tugging them closer. Anyone who knew Jake could predict which choice he would make.

It took several seconds for Amy to realize just what had happened, and another few to react. When she did, she shoved Jake hard enough that both his mouth and his hands lost contact.

They stared at each other for a moment, Amy's lips opening and closing like a fish, her brow furrowed. "What the hell are you doing?" She yelled at him. He was just about to beg her forgiveness, but missed his chance, because she grabbed him by the jacket and pulled him back to her waiting mouth.

That one lasted more than a few seconds, as Jake quickly placed his hands back, then moved them around liberally, while Amy did much the same thing. Finally she broke the kiss off again.

"What the hell are we doing?" She asked him, panting, stepping back and staring at Jake, who was equally out of breath.

"I don't know, but, wow. Wow." He gave two thumbs up.

"Okay, have you had that all night?" Amy grimaced and gestured in the direction of Jake's groin.

"I've actually had it all my life, Santiago." He grinned.

"I meant..." Her voice dropped to a whisper. "The boner."

Jake bugged his eyes out and gasped indignantly. "What are you, the boner police?"

Amy rolled her eyes. "Oh my god. I cannot believe this happened." She fixed him with a glare. "This didn't happen, Peralta. It did. Not. Happen."

"I'm pretty sure it did, Santiago. I have some evidence I could show you."

"You will not. We are going to act like this didn't happen. This will not change how we act at work, or outside of work. And if you tell anyone, I will end you." Amy finished her rant with a throat cutting gesture.

"You do realize that is not helping the boner situation, right?"

"Go home, Peralta."

"Wait, wait. If this didn't happen, can it not happen one more time before I go?" Jake could see a flash of temptation before she shut him down.

"Okay, okay. I'll go home and sleep off this terrible day. I can't believe I lost four perps today." He hung his head and turned around.

"Four perps? You only lost three, who's the fourth?"

Jake turned back and pointed at her, saying dramatically, "Amy Santiago. Thief of hearts." He held his hands to his chest and threw back his head. "You've claimed another victim, you villain."

"Oh my God, you're such a cheese ball." She rolled her eyes but couldn't help but smile.

"Goodnight, Santiago." He said as he walked away.

"Goodnight... Jake."


End file.
